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Narcissism and Sex

Narcissus was cursed by the Greek god Artemis on the request of his many lovers and admirers, who were all upset by his infidelity and disregard for their feelings. The curse was that he fall in love with his own reflection, leaving him sitting day in, day out by the same pool, longing for his own image reflected in the water but never able to touch or be loved by this image until, in this way, he withers away and dies in loneliness and despair.

“This is a very accurate description of the loneliness and unquenchable longing that narcissists feel, while often surrounded by people who love them.”

What is Narcissism?

Narcissism can be described as someone who never grew out of the natural selfishness of being a child. A person with narcissism finds it hard to share and even harder to share the limelight, wanting always to be centre stage. They may invent stories to get what they want and  pretend that they are more important than they are and will often blame others for their own wrong doings. Narcissism flourishes in those who are charming and attractive, because they manage to get away with this behavior better than others. Narcissists feel very embarrassed if  they are seen to be wrong or have made a mistake, and like a child may throw tantrums or rages and make up stories rather than admit their mistakes.

Narcissists are always looking for attention. They are flirts and have constant crushes and real or fantasy affairs, they are often addicted to pornography and many are cyber-paths having online affairs with numerous people that they will tell many lies to.

When narcissism has a hold of a person, they will feel VERY lonely and desperate for the affection of some ‘perfect’ person who will be sympathetic and adoring. Sadly this ‘perfect’ person is actually an illusion in the narcissist’s mind, tormenting and making their life miserable.

Narcissism is natural in humans and particularly in children, but when these tendencies are excessive or are still present in teenagers and adults they may be classified as a personality disorder. Narcissism is a problem when present in adolescence and is an even more serious problem in an adult. There are many who say that narcissism cannot be treated successfully and so if you are suspected to suffer from narcissism as an adult you may find yourself abandoned repeatedly by people who once loved you, because they cannot live with your addiction to your own fantasy life, which does not include them and which you will even lie about and blame others to protect.

We do not believe that Narcissism is incurable. My name is Kim Cooper and my husband Steve and I overcame these problems in our marriage and now have a committed and loving partnership (and great sex life). Back when I was looking for help online, I was scared badly by the pseudo professionals who described my husbands behavior very accurately saying that there was no hope for him and that I should leave him. I was lucky to meet others with better advice and when things got better with us, I vowed that I would help spread the message that there is hope.

Narcissism does not get better by itself, untreated it will lead to multiple relationship breakdowns, nervous breakdown, career breakdowns and will often see it’s victims (the narcissist) end up in jail or on the street.

There are things that you can do, to ‘break the curse of narcissism and learn to enjoy healthy and deeply fulfilling sex life, while having your longing to be loved satisfied.

We offer steps that will help bring simplicity and ease to your life and help end your loneliness ...

Does Pornography Feed Narcissism?

Pornography encourages idealized fantasy pre-occupation while encouraging lying, deception and deceit ... all symptoms of narcissism. Web-cam and chat room sex and romance are even worse for encouraging the development of a false ego persona, through compulsive lying and presenting of an unrealistic version of ones self. It would seem obvious that these habitual behaviors will feed narcissism, as they encourage the exact behavior that defines it. There have also been numerous studies linking pornography use with the rise in marriage breakdowns, emotional and domestic abuse as well as child abuse.

“A pornography addict can be easily seen like Narcissus himself, staring into a pool (or these days his computer) longing for love that he will never find there, while abandoning and eventually being abandoned by all those in his life who once loved him.”

Since our human lifestyle has changed so dramatically in the last hundred and fifty years, we now spend more time away from our family and often work alone, rather than in the fields, where men and boys once worked all day alongside their fathers. The knowledge that once passed from generation to generation, in this way, is now lost or seemingly irrelevant. The introduction of birth control, easily available pornography and television has dramatically changed our sexual expectations and behavior, and unfortunately many people have found themselves off-track not knowing how to find a secure place in their life where they feel loved and known by the people around them. This type of security builds trust and allows deep and satisfying sexual partnerships to develop to new levels and depths of expression, comfort and ease. A king and his queen. A man and his bride. Men and women are now both starving for this lost affection and rapport.

Men have been robbed of their sovereignty. Most men sense it and feel angry about it, but do not know how they lost their throne. Many unwittingly blame their wives, who can do little to help, knowing just as little about what went wrong or how to claim back what has been lost. 

We want to help you find your way back to feeling loved and accepted for who you are. To be free of the ‘bubble’ that you may now feel yourself in.

1. •Help for Partners (or family) of Narcissists                
   

2. •Help for Overcoming Narcissism
   

3. •How Much do You Really Know about Women and Sex? Do Our Quiz
   

You can have the love life that you are longing for, let us help you find the way.