Steve Cooper

Beyond Narcissism

Is Your Fantasy Life Leaving You Out in the Cold?

Practical Self Help for Narcissism (NPD)

 



Narcissism Love and Sex


Narcissus was cursed by the Greek god Artemis on the request of his many lovers and admirers; all upset by his infidelity and disregard for their feelings. The curse was for him to fall in love with his own reflection, leaving him sitting day in and out by the same pool, longing for himself in the water but not able to touch or be loved by this image until he withered away and died in loneliness and despair.




What is Narcissism?


Narcissism itself is not unhealthy. It is the part of us that smiles for the camera and enjoys the spotlight (and being around attractive people) and these are mainly positive things. The word narcissism however has been linked in recent history with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) which is a different story. When someone is described as a narcissist it means that they display symptoms of this personality disorder which include aggression and defensiveness and a tendency to under achieve or rely on (or ‘use’) others while being charming or ‘playing for the crowd’. A narcissist may crave and hog the spotlight (rather than simply enjoy it) and may use his/her charm and socialability to manipulate others with little or no regard for their feelings. 


A narcissist is someone who never grew out of being a selfish child. They find it hard to share and even harder to share the limelight, always wanting to be the focus of attention. They invent stories to get what they want and pretend they are more important than they are and blame others for their wrong doings. Narcissism flourishes in those who are charming and attractive, because this means they will get away with this behavior more easily. Narcissists will usually get angry or sulk (and feel very embarrassed) if they are seen to be wrong or have made a mistake, and like a child they might throw tantrums or rages and make up stories instead of admitting their mistakes.


Narcissists are also always looking for attention. They are flirts and have constant crushes and real or fantasy affairs, they get addicted to pornography and can be cyber-paths who have online affairs with numerous people that they manipulate and lie to.


When this type of unhealthy narcissism has a hold of someone, they will feel VERY lonely and desperate for the affection of a ‘perfect’ person who will be sympathetic and adore them. Sadly this ‘perfect’ person is actually an illusion in the narcissist’s mind, a tormenting fantasy illusion that will make their life miserable.


Narcissism is natural in young children, but when these tendencies are excessive or distoted and still present in a persons teenage years or when they are an adult, it may be diagnosed as a personality disorder. Narcissism is a serious problem when present in adolescence and a more serious problem in an adult. Most professionals say that NPD cannot be treated successfully - so if you are suspected of suffering from NPD you may find yourself abandoned by people who once loved you - because they cannot live with your addiction to your own fantasy life (which does not include them) and which you will even lie about and blame others to protect and because they cannot live with your insults and tantrums.


We do not believe that Narcissism or NPD is incurable. My name is Steve Cooper and I conquered these problems in my life and I now have a committed and loving marriage. Back when Kim, my wife, was looking for help online, she was scared badly by the ‘expert’ who described my behavior very accurately saying that there was no hope for me and that she should leave me. I was very lucky that Kim met someone with better advice and so when things got better with us, we decided we would help others in our situation and share it on the web that there is hope.


Narcissism can be corrected but it does not get better by itself; untreated it leads to multiple relationship breakdowns, nervous breakdown, career breakdowns and can see it’s victim (the narcissist) end up in jail or on the street and their family disjointed and in tatters.


There are things that you can do to ‘break free’ of this curse of narcissism and enjoy a healthy and deeply fulfilling marriage and sex life, while having your longing for love fully satisfied.


We offer simple steps to help you end the loneliness ...


Does Pornography Feed Narcissism?


Pornography is idealized fantasy and encourages lying, deception and deceit ...  all symptoms of narcissism. Web-cam and chat room sex and romance are even worse for encouraging the development of a false ego or pretend personality because of the temptation to present an unrealistic version of yourself. It seems obvious to me now that all of these can only feed lonliness and NPD and will encourage the behavior that defines it. There have been numerous studies linking pornography use with marriage breakdown, emotional and domestic abuse and child abuse.


“A pornography addict is like Narcissus himself, staring into a pool (or these days his computer) longing for love that he will never find there, while abandoning and eventually being abandoned by all those in his life who once loved him.”


Kim and I want to help you find your way back to feeling loved and accepted for who you truly are. To be free of the ‘bubble’ that you may now feel yourself trapped in.


If you feel you may be suffering from these symptoms please consult a professional health care worker but also make sure you subscribe to my list ...


You can have the love life that you are longing for, let us help you find the way.


Subscribe to my list and you will immediately be sent a link to a short movie where I will talk to you personally about my recovery from narcissistic personality disorder. If you are battling with this condition I really hope I can offer you some insight, because life is too short to live lonely.


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Please listen: A short audio where Steve Cooper, host of ‘The Love Safety Net‘ discusses his reaction to discovering he was suffering from Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and that this disorder was apparently incurable.

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